Current location:	Work.
Current mood:	aggravated
Current music:	Coldplay

State of the Business Address
ahh advertising. it's such a fun industry! if you'd like to know a little more about the kind of world i live in, just watch the following monster.com spoof on You Tube:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=KpqwrEdlo4s

yesterday, my boss had a meeting with me about "how to make the client like me more". he said, "you and i don't have personalities that, well, are good at making people like us. we have to figure out ways to make people feel all warm and fuzzy, because we're not very good at it."

...what? speak for yourself, Buster! my client is not always happy with me, that's a given, but i like to think that it's more about the nature of my job and not me as a person. i've never had problems making friends... but i can see why my boss, on the other hand, would include himself in the above category. he went on to explain that we've just hired someone, who will be working with me. and of course, no one let me meet her before the decision was made... but oh well... i'm used to not having much of a voice. anyway, he said "you know, the client is probably going to like her a lot quicker than they'll ever like you."

i looked at him and thought about the first week i was on the job, and he told me that everyone at the entire agency loved him. i silently reminded myself that his judgement is a little askew.

he continued, "but don't worry, it's just because she won't be doing the hard stuff you're doing, and she'll probably never have to be the messenger of bad news to them for a while."

i then smiled on the inside as i dreamt of the day next fall when i tell him i'm leaving to go back to school, and he and the newbie will be alone on this account. i can't wait to see the look on his face when he realizes that he will be again working on all the billing, invoice problems, and mundane projects he gave to me.

when work was finally over, i got to go do some more work... this time to buy ladies' underwear at Scary Wal-Mart (this particular establishment is thus named because I usually try to never go there after dark... but it's the closest one to me). i ABHOR walking into Wal-Marts, but I'm forced to do it for my job because of my client's strong relationship with them. driving into the parking lot, i was following a car with about 20 bullet holes in the back door (typical for this store), and i knew it was going to be a fun trip.

i perused through plus-size and ladies' underwear and socks and bought $50 worth of product to take digital pictures of today (research for an upcoming photo shoot). in the self-checkout line i stood behind a man who was buying one item: Lice-Removing Shampoo. i took a few steps back, and made a mental note to not put my things down on the counter where his item had just been.

after buying my big bag of underwear and socks, i had to go to customer service. see, during the last week of December i had bought the PS2 game Guitar Hero II for the boyfriend. well, due to Wal-Mart.com's stellar customer service and delivery, i'd been sent three or four e-mails from them saying that they didn't know when the item would be shipped, that they were having delivery problems, and that they didn't know when the item would be delivered to that store to pick up. oh but they did charge my credit card for the amount right off the bat. i bought the item from a different vendor, and it arrived at my apartment within four days. i wanted to cancel my Wal-Mart order, but i was told at this point that it had already shipped (Dec. 11). apparently, once an item has shipped, all you can do is go to the store and return the item you never actually picked up in the first place.

i went to the customer service counter and explained my problem, and they said that i had to have the paperwork from me to give me a refund. i didn't have the paperwork, but knew that they could look up my information on the computer. the employee helping me went to talk to someone else about this, and came back, and then asked me if i had the item with me to return. *sigh* "no, i don't have the item in my possession. i NEVER have had the item. i don't even want it anymore. i just want my money back." it wasn't really their fault for not understanding... the English language is not frequently spoken in the Wal-Mart i was enjoying.

she said that she now understood my question, and that i'd have to go to the back of the store to Layaway to pick it up, bring it back to the front of the store at customer service, and return it. this was getting ridiculous. so i went to Layaway, and of course, it was empty. i stood waiting for a while, and then started walking around in the fabric section to try and find someone to help. an idling employee finally came over to make the announcement "customer needs assistance in Layaway, customer needs assistance in layaway." no one came.

i noticed an employee named "Angelica" working in the fabric section cutting some material for someone, and she looked up and saw me and said, "It's just me back here, ok? I'll be over there in a minute, but you'll just have to be patient." She didn't look like she was in much of a hurry to get back to Layaway to help anyone.

She finally sauntered over to the counter and stood there and looked at me and said "what do you need". I told her my issue, and she also said that she would need to see paperwork. I told her that no, she didn't, that she could look it up on her computer. if not, i would just call the Wal-Mart customer service line right then, and get the number from someone who COULD look it up. after several times of insisting she had to see paperwork, she reluctantly said "well let me see your ID". she then proceeded to try to enter my name about 7 times, slowly pecking each letter with one finger, and i watched her spell it wrong every time. she said that i wasn't in their system, and asked me if i'd entered someone else's name to pick it up. i said something like, "no, i'm supposed to pick it up. how are you spelling my name?" (spelled it for her)... she looked at me as if I'd just told her that I'd run over her dog and then had asked her to provide me with customer service. she pointed to the ID and said "i'm spelling it just like it is on here." A guy named Jesus walked up and said, "maybe you should try it with her phone number. have you tried that?" she asked me for my number, and apparently typed it in correctly this time, because the order number came up, magically, on the screen. i thought all was solved, but no.

she said "we don't have this here, i can't give you a refund." i said "what?" she said, "it hasn't been shipped yet. there's nothing we can do. you can call or go online and cancel the order though because it hasn't shipped yet." by this time i wanted to scream. i said, "maam, i just called the main Wal-Mart customer service line, and they told me that it has shipped." Jesus chimed in and said that sometimes it takes UPS a few days to send the item. i told him that yes, i understood that, but the item had apparently shipped on December 11, which was a MONTH AGO. he furrowed his brow and said "hmm, yes you're right, that is a long time..." again the Wicked Witch of the West and her sidekick Jesus told me they could not do anything more. the Witch sauntered back out of Layaway to cut some more fabric. i stood there and called the Wal-Mart customer service line, and when a representative answered my call, it went something like this:

"hello, this is WalMart.com, how you doing today?"
"ohhh, not very well. i'm having BIG issues with Wal-Mart right now."
"oh i'm sorry to hear that, how can i help you?"
"well let's see. i ordered an item on november 24. in december i get an email saying that the item didn't ship when it was supposed to, then another email saying you're having delivery problems, then another email to say that it has shipped from the warehouse but you have no idea when it will be delvered to the store BUT you will send me an email when it's arrived at the store for pick-up. i've tried to cancel the order on the phone, but since it's "shipped", i can't do that. i have to go to the store. you say it's at the store for pick up, the store says it's not. my item is out in space somewhere apparently, and no one knows where it is, and i dont even care... I DONT WANT IT ANYMORE. I DON'T CARE WHERE IT IS. I JUST WANT MY MONEY BACK. and no one can seem to do that for me."

she listened to me patiently, and, hallelujah, was the first person i've talked to at Wal-Mart in the past two months that was actually willing to do something to help me. she said that she was going to call Layaway at that store directly, and tell the Wicked Witch of the West to give me a refund (ok so she didn't use that name, but i began mentally switching names out). she put me on hold, and i sat in the again-empty Layaway room, and listened as the phone rang and no one answered. thankfully, she kept calling, and then magically a different lady emerged from the back room on the phone and started typing on the computer. she must have been in the back eating donuts instead of working, i don't know. Wicked Witch had disappeared completely, probably to go kill some puppies. she was rude to the lady, saying things like "well maam, i can't do anything if this person isnt here. she's going to have to come into the store." i just waited until a look of realization came over her face and she looked in my direction and noticed me in the room all of a sudden and smiled. "uh, yes, ok, she's here, she's sitting here in the room." she then decided to mark the item as "missing" in the system, which finally allowed me to get my money back. i grabbed the receipt from her, and got out of the store as fast as i could before something else happened.

i had, at this point, spent about an hour in a Wal-Mart, which was exactly an hour more than i would prefer to spend in any Wal-Mart. for those who know me, i detest Wal-Marts, and when I'm forced to go there, i usually come out with a very bad attitude, sometimes yelling. every time i use a self-checkout line (which, one would think, would be faster for those of us who have just a few items), it never fails that i am behind at least two people who have never used the machine before. they are confused by it, and don't have a clue what button to push, or when, or why. many times i have had to restrain myself from cutting in to complete their transaction for them. and that's after i've spent half an hour trying to walk briskly past large groups of people (in more ways than one) who are going about .0000000000001 mile an hour as they stop to gawk at every Nascar item in the store.

in short, i will never, ever, ever buy another item from WalMart.com, and i urge you to do the same. there are plenty of other quality vendors out there that would love your business. you'd be supporting healthy market competition. in fact, i encourage an all-out boycott of Wal-Mart as a whole. i'm sick of the low level of customer service they provide, just because they know they can get by with it.

I have two words for you, Wal-Mart. "Tar-get".