Sheesh...

2038-01-19T03:14:07Z

Sorry about those last few entries... they are rather depressing. Long story short, "he" and I are back together, and things have been going well for the past few weeks. I DID survive the space, and even though it was one of the hardest things I've ever been through, I think that it was a good thing. It made us realize that we had been taking some things for granted, and also showed us that if we are going to work, some things desperately needed to change. I guess only time will tell if those things actually are capable of changing... I really really hope they can, but in the back of my mind there is the tiniest sliver of doubt... and if that doubt becomes a reality, I don't even really want to think about that. I don't want to go through *that* (see below) again...

So it's a rainy Saturday afternoon, and I am sitting at home working on a take-home exam for my International Law class... on my Spring Break. yes.... i'm a loser. I went to Denver for a few days at the beginning of the week, and then to Austin/Dallas for a couple days, and have spent the last few days here at home working on stuff and hanging out with my best friend who's in town from Connecticut. We went to see "The Hills Have Eyes" last night... I wouldn't recommend it. It wasn't even satisfyingly scary... just really gory.

A little depressed that I'm home and not still in Denver with my bf and our friends... my parents annoy me SO much sometimes. Although it wouldn't have cost them ANYthing to let me go with them for a week, they insisted on flying me there and back, and only letting me stay for three days. Their reasoning? Not quite sure of the REAL reasons, but among them: "you just don't travel with a boy until you are married", "you should spend your spring break looking for a job instead" (although i have NEVER asked to go anywhere for my SB... they've always been spent home either preparing for campaigns or weddings), "you are not responsible", "we don't feel right about it" (although we stayed at our friend's parents' house, WITH his parents and younger sister), and last but not least "what would our friends say if you guys got in some sort of accident and they found out you had been travelling with your boyfriend." ?? Gahhhh.... my dad claims that i will be capable of "truly" making my own decisions when I graduate... two months from now... but until then, apparently I, a 22 year old adult, am still obliged to obey their every command. Mental note to myself: When you are a parent, realize that there is a point at which you MUST let your child make their own decisions, good or bad... You must trust that you have raised them in such a way that they will make sound decisions. LET GO. I am almost the age my older sister was when she was married, and my parents gave her complete freedom. Sometimes I really think that the only way I am going to get that too is to get married... which at this point, means I probably won't be out of their grip until I'm... who knows... 30??

SO anyway... they're all driving back today... apparently they had a lot of fun last night for St. Patrick's Day. I've tried to keep my mind off of it as much as possible... trying to not think about how angry I am with my parents. One thing I promised a friend to do recently is stay positive... and I'm trying... but sometimes the anger surfaces.

I'm ready to be back at school, sort of... when I get back there is going to be SO much to do... the job searching continues... the Term is almost over and I've got lots of things to wrap up regarding that... blahhhh...

My parents suggested a few days ago that I start looking for an "interim job" in Tulsa in case I can't find a job by then, and suggested being a waitress for the summer. If that isn't incentive for finding a job, and quick, I don't know what is. My main priority for right now is, I DO NOT want to live with my parents after I graduate. I'm pretty certain I would go insane.

Anyway... break time over, time to get back to this test. Until next time...

PiratesArrrNeat!

Sheesh...